Why are kids so anxious in sports today as compared to when my kids played?
- Loraine Mazzolini
- Feb 22, 2023
- 6 min read
About 6 months ago, I was asked the question above by a good friend who is a tenured head coach of 25 years? We were having a friendly conversation about his high school team but he had serious concerns about this team!
He told me most of them were uptight, anxious, and all seemed to be trying to be perfect but it was having the opposite effect! The team was not bonding. They were blaming each other, and parents were blaming their kids for not caring enough or working hard enough. Ugh! He was really frustrated! He had coached his kids when they were growing up and he said it just wasn’t like this. “What is going on these days?” he asked me.
My friend questioned if he was just an “old guy” who just didn’t understand kids anymore or if there was something that he didn’t realize. He just wanted to make things better and get the kids to perform without anxiety and to have fun!
As a coach myself, both health coach and sports coach, I have been investigating the whys behind this question for my own children who are teenagers and currently playing sports. I have noticed that they were anxious all the time in the sports they chose to play AND that they wanted to play! So I have seen first hand the anxiety that this high school coach was referring to.
Question: Tenured Youth Coaches what do you think? Are kids more anxious these days? I would love to hear your thoughts.
As I started to pay closer attention to my own teams, my own kids and their experiences, I started to ponder these questions.
Do you think it is the competitive nature of today’s sports world?
There are the A/B/C level teams that start in junior high and then the tryouts, make it or be cut, for the High School level. There are tryouts for the travel teams, club or national levels teams. All this just to gear up for the opportunity to be seen by college coaches. And then, if the student athlete is even in that 2% that gets recruited, they may get recruited at the D1, 2 or 3 level or maybe junior college level?? It is boggling the pressure that is put on our athletes to perform at this intense level and some are doing it in multiple sports that don’t allow for an off season.
And, let’s not forget that every play is recorded, or live streamed. Then it is reposted to social media for all to see.
Are our youth athletes feeling the pressure to be perfect at all times? Do you think that might have something to do with contributing to their anxiety?
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the competitive nature of sports. I do believe that sports are a phenomenally way for a child to:
grow in their confidence
learn to work through adversity
make new friends
forget about the outside school and other social pressures
However, today’s sports don’t offer much, if any, of an offseason. They require daily practices and often don’t afford our kids much downtime. I believe this can lead to athletes who start to see their sport as all work and no fun.
Academic pressures, early and late school and practice times, phones, sleep, and diet? It is one of these things or a culmination of all of it?
Combine the competitive nature of sports with the academic pressures, homework, early school or sport start times, and a late practice or game schedule and this can lead to one very burned out athlete.
On top of this, add in a cell phone, electronics, like Xbox. Plus, a teenager’s circadian rhythm changes during puberty and their melatonin (sleep hormone) begins kicking in later at night. This adds to the sleep deprivation that our already exhausted athletes are feeling.
Before phones and electronics, they probably would have just fallen asleep when tired, but now we have these blue light emitting devices that artificially keep our kids awake. They miss out on the sleep hormone kicking in and they push through it only to find their second wind that allows them to stay up later than they were designed to.
They also might miss out on the most important sleep from 10 pm - 2 am where their HGH, human growth hormone, kicks in to help them repair the muscles, create a stronger immune system, and protect their organs. HGH is pivotal to so many beneficial functions in the body and we can miss out on it by not being asleep at the right time of night!
In addition to getting to sleep at the right time, our teenage athletes still require at least 8 and optimally 10 hours of sleep every night!!
Check out these sleep scenarios in order for them to get their optimal rest
Scenario A:
Practice ends at 9:00 pm
Home by 9:30 pm
Shower and light snack before bed
Right to sleep by 10 pm
Up by 6:30 am
= Equals at best 8.5 hours sleep but not optimal 10 hrs and how often are they really asleep by 10 pm?
Scenario B:
Practice ends (which is the second practice of the night because they are in season with one sport but expected at another practice for their travel team that practices year round)
Finally Home by 9:30 pm
Shower, eat dinner (or dinner was probably fast food in between the practices)
Do homework since there was no other time to get it done
Then they get on their phones, xbox (while neon lights shine all through their room) This is the first chance they get to connect with friends since they have been at practice all day and they don’t want to miss out.
Hopefully they can fall asleep by MIDNIGHT but after the melatonin hormone window has already passed around 11pm, sometimes they can’t even fall asleep.
Up by 6:30 am for school or tournament
= Equals at best 6.5 hours of not great sleep
Scenario C
In bed by 8:30 pm
Up by 6:30 am for school or tournament
= Equals 10 hours for optimal sleep (ha! we know this isn’t going to happen)
YES… this is why they sleep as long as possible on weekends! Their body is trying to make up for a major sleep debt!
Standard American Youth Diet
And if that wasn’t enough … our kids' diets are bombarded with gluten, chemical laden soy, corn fillers and artificial chemical additives which keep them addicted to fast food/drinks, and lacking real nutrients for their body and mind to thrive instead of just surviving!!!
There is also numerous research behind the gut/brain connection and low quality foods causing hormones to get out of balance which can directly cause anxiety!
So is there an answer to my Coach friend’s question?
All my reading and research has led me to the conclusion that there is not a simple answer to my friend's question. I see it as a cultural shift that has led to increased anxiety in not only our youth athletes but in all our kids.
Non stop sport competitive seasons
Early schedules that don’t align with our kids natural sleep patterns
Social pressures to perform at school, in sports and in be present in social media
Not enough quality sleep
Poor food quality
Yes I would say that ALL of these factors are contributing to our very anxiety filled youth - both athletes and non athletes!
What is the answer?
I believe the answer needs to be a partnership between school, coaches, athletic directors and parents. We all need to work together to ensure that we are part of the solution to ensure that we work with our youth athletes and not against them!
Tweet this:
“Let’s honor that our youth athletes still have growing bodies and minds that require downtime, quality sleep and quality food in order to THRIVE, not just survive. Let’s realize that they are still kids and that social media, cell phones and electronics are addictive so we as parents need to help them manage their time in these environments.”
Please be like my coach friend and ask yourself “what role do I play and what can I do to improve the lives of my youth athletes?”
Coaches: Can you give them a well deserved surprise day off practice or cut practice short from time to time?
Maybe schedule a practice that they get to run without any coaching - kind of like a pick up game. No kid I know would miss that kind of practice!
Parents: Let’s allow them to be multi-sport athletes but not all on the same night. Talk with the Coach of the sport that is out of season and let them know you will manage your athletes time and get them to practice when you can but you must ensure they get enough quality food, rest, sleep and just plain ‘ol downtime!
I will always remember the words my own Father said to me when my first child was born, “You are her protector! Do whatever it takes to keep her safe.”
I have never forgotten those words and I will always do what I feel is best for my youth athletes, my children!
I would love to hear your thoughts! Please comment, or message me.
Coach Lo
Be Safe, Be Healthy and Be Happy!
Excellent information Coach Lo. The jump for our student athlete from 8th grade to high-school was enormous. Competing in three sports sounded like a great idea a year ago, but after playing football, basketball and now gearing up for outdoor track I could see a need to pump the brakes. I believe communication is the key. Checking in with your son or daughter regularly using many of your well researched points concerning, diet, practice, downtime and especially sleep, can be beneficial in their overall health and success. Parents also need to ask themselves, "Am I placing unnecessary pressure on my teenager to perform at a high level?" Last of all and maybe first of all...Sports should be FUN!
This is so true! I do not like that by the age of 10 kids are already required to pick one sport because they are not given the time to enjoy multiple sports. And if you want your kids to try multiple things they do not get the free time to be kids. This all leads to high school students all being specialized. There was something recently on the NBA regarding increase in injuries leading to less playing time compared with previous years. I suspect this is the generation of kids who had to specialize young and are getting overuse injuries. One question for you- Is this a USA specific phenomenon? Do we see this in other countries?